Few aspects of femdom are potentially as powerful and role defining as the practice of pegging: taking the man up the anus with a strap-on dildo. Physically, pegging can be done in many positions but are usually performed ‘doggy style’ or in the missionary position.
At its very basic, pegging is simply sexual role reversal, with the woman becoming the sexual dominant and invading the anus of the now sexually submissive male. But, at least for the man, there is much more to it…
For a heterosexual male like myself, the idea of being taken up the ass by a woman is the epitome of humiliation. It is not just the discomfort (which is similar to passing a large hard turd), but it is also the complete loss of control; something that many heterosexual men are not used to. It is counter to all the ideals of masculinity that both men and women have been raised to accept.
The humiliation is often compounded by the fact that the dildo frequently stimulates the man’s prostate (that has sometimes been called the ‘male g-spot’), which not only may stimulate an intense feeling of ‘pleasurable discomfort’, but under the right circumstances, force an ejaculation and orgasm- that even can be involuntary. This involuntary phenomenon can be made even more certain if the woman uses a vibrating dildo to stimulate the prostate (and herself).
Yet, despite the discomfort and the humiliation- the experience is extremely arousing for the man- and if the man is brought to orgasm- it is one of the most intense. Why such an experience would be so arousing is difficult to say (and I am sure that not every man would feel aroused by this), but a large part of it is the man’s total loss of control and the ceremonial consummation of his total submission to the woman.
In addition to the physical stimulation that the woman may get from the dildo, I have been told that there is also a powerful feeling of sexual control over the man.
A female reader, ‘M’ (milkyandthegentlemen.tumblr.com), who has become a fan of pegging writes in response:
It’s too bad that some people feel this act of love is humiliating. And that they describe it so inelegantly as “similar to passing a large hard turd.” What utter bollocks that is. At least, it’s not true if I’m doing it. Or if Ruby Ryder and other women I know are caring lovers are doing it. It’s marvelous. Mind blowing. Intense.
To call this act “invading the anus” implies that any penetrative sex is an invasion, which is bullshit. It’s slipping under your partner’s skin, going deep within him or her, stirring your lover to new heights. It’s a union. Are French kisses “invading the mouth”? Sheesh.
The person who’s going to be pegged needs to prepare for it. And to be prepared. Clean out with an enema. He or she can wear a butt plug to stretch the anus. And one must use lube. Lots and lots of lube. I really like to rim my lover first, to lick and suck and make him feel wonderful and relaxed. Then I can lube my fingers and have at him. One, two, three. Massage the prostate, get him ready for the main event. Begin with a small shecock and then change it out for a larger size. Slip in gently, then begin to thrust once it’s clear he’s enjoying it. If it’s done right, it shouldn’t be painful. It should be pure pleasure.
Just because the woman has strapped on doesn’t mean she forgets about the rest of sexual pleasure. I touch and stroke my men. And in one very special case, I kissed him thoroughly as I buggered his ass.
I suppose I understand this part: “but it is also the complete loss of control; something that many heterosexual men are not used to. It is counter to all the ideals of masculinity that we have been raised to accept.” When I first contemplated pegging, it alarmed me a bit because it was the complete assumption of control, something many straight women of my era aren’t used to. It felt very unfeminine. But I got over it as I saw beautiful women in lovely corsets and other outfits smiling gently, having at their fellas.
Sure, this can be done meanly, degrading a guy. But that’s not an inherent part of pegging. I object to it being portrayed as something humiliating. It is a great act of love, giving a man the chance to see how nice it is to be filled, how fun it is to get fucked.